The Journey to Manhood


Feel the anger and wrath of a confused boy on the way to being a man.

In the darkness he hid himself away in fear that what he was would be looked down upon.

And further into the darkness he hid, taking with him the heart of a young girl, the memories of those who loved him, and his own soul until he reached a place where they could be discarded, forgotten as not.

And around him he gathered the ideas of what it meant to be a man: he pieced together the mask of his worst nightmares, his insane laughter was only that of a tormented boy becoming societies ideal man. 

And in the darkness the mask was forged into the most twisted form of hatred that the boy had ever laid eyes on. 

But he wore this mask. He became this personality. And he hid himself so well that this mask became who he was.

and from the darkness he stepped back into the light, knowing he would still be hidden.

and he deceived those around and denounced who he had been, and kept it hidden, though in the end it was always in him.

and throughout the years, the mask would slip. and parts of his former self would be revealed. 

and he would justify himself with action that would prove himself to himself.

He was capable of so much more, but settled for murder of his past.
And the girl who’s soul was stolen died to him and not a single fuck was given. 

and he killed himself over and over, again and again. but the intoxications that he put into his body only made for temporary murder before he was alive more over again.

One night in the dark of a room, he bowed before his two Lords: one of pity and self loathing, the other of kindness and understanding.

and he removed his mask and breathed his last. And fell prostrate on the floor. 

Before his Lords he released all that had pent up inside of him. and he clenched his fist and gnawed his teeth. 

Tears flowed down and frustration built up as he let loose all that had been hidden. And he smashed the mask and let out screams and pleas for death.
And he cut and burnt himself until all that remained was that of himself, naked and raw. 

And he looked up to see that in the midst of the destruction of himself and all he had built, the Lord of pity and self loathing had been murdered cold, the blood draining from the body into a black pool. 

The Lord of kindness and understanding looked down at the distressed boy and picked him up. He dusted him off, embraced him, and gave him a kiss. The tender look of love was unlike any the boy had felt. Tears of joy rushed down his face. As he blinked them away, he suddenly found himself alone. But the warmth from his only Lord grew in him more. 

And even though he was alone, he felt confident in who he was.

The anger and wrath of a confused boy had shaped him into what he longed to be the most: a man.


~ by robertlouishernandez on August 12, 2013.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: